Stay at home dad

Goodbye Blog Cottage

Well it finally happened. It's goodbye Blog Cottage and Hello! Blotto Cottage. An apt name given the amount of champagne we've been (well...I've been..) consuming.

God what a difference a couple of days makes. Less than three days ago it was a case of 'are we aren't we?' going to be moving. Things didn't look promising and I had no answer to LP's constant questioning along the lines of:

"Is it today we are moving?"

"How many sleeps until we are moving Daddy?"

"Is it today today (!) we are moving to Blonko Cottage Daddy..?"

Well yes he was really excited and not at all phased by the whole thing. I think the promise of a playroom and a new bedroom which he can choose was all good so far as he was concerned.

The weather was shite all day of the packing and moving. Now let me tell you, forget Pilates, weight training or triathlon, if you want to keep fit and stay strong: become a removal man! I must have lifted, what, two or even three boxes but the team from the removals company were like robots charging up and down the stairs with box after box after box - you get the picture.

Mrs.SAHD said they smelt. I say give them a break, Jeez anyone would doing all that physical activity.

Frantic cleaning at Blog Cottage to welcome in the new owners, left the place spotless. After all they are still practically neighbours. They seem pleased.

Most exciting of all, LP comes home to a new home. Not just a new home but a new walk home too. Little bit worried about the massive increase in the walk to school. I mean an extra 300 metres is nearly a third of a kilometre. A long way for small legs speshly on the homeward walk after a busy day of school and chasing and annoying the older kids. Oh well we'll just have to drive .... only joking.

So we're in. We are loving the space. Blog Cottage was beautiful and we have very good memories there but this place is in a different league baby..

Anyway new challenges still exist like how on earth did we fit all that junk in such a small house and what shall we throw away or what furniture shall we buy for our FIVE bedrooms? Yeah that's right you read correctly: five bedrooms. We should rename it Blotto Manor.

Anyway enough of this drivel, off to quaff some more champers.

Yo! Milliband

You are my new star, ok you look a bit like a lego character and seem to have the humourless exterior of a 'not-quite-human-being' but hey I will put that down to bad PR. After all look at your (new) leader, the 21st century DARTH VADER, all monosyllabic cyclical messages and helmet hair (much like yourself). At least you are a man of principle.

I lay down at your feet a large bushel of respect for your stand about your new child versus the Saudi royal visit.

One question: are you in trouble with Gordon?

I don't know ANY CEOs who would put up with your excuse for missing that state visit! Good on you fella...

I thought it was a joke when I read the story.

Here's a massive big 'up to the 'Foz Sec' as I shall now refer to you (with respec').

Why am I at all interested in your story? Because you put your children first. You are a hero, just don't expect to be rewarded for it.

Yours, over and out dark lord,

A SAHD admirer.

Vote SAHD !

VOTE 'SAHD' FOR A BETTER FUTURE..

And so begins my life in politics.

Never have I thought I would become embroiled in politics. Far too many skeletons in my closet to come out on the front page of NOTW or another red top: just when I'd announced some huge new policy about 'family friendly policies' there would be the obligatory ' [ XXXX ] IN COCAINE AND HIGH CLASS HOOKER SHAME ' story which, of course, would do wonders for my street cred but may somewhat undermine my credibility as the consumate family man politician... so, no, never in a million years would I stand for election as an MP.

So what the hell am I on about?

School Governor vacancies of course. Yes, I decided to put my head above the parapet and see if I can do something useful with my professional qualification that I no longer use in corporate world. So here is my manifesto, word for word:

"Are you tired of being treated like an idiot? Are you sick to death of being patronised, cheated out of your rights and being trampled on my faceless bureaucrats? YES? Well then VOTE 'SAHD' for a brighter future...."

I feel I have pressed all the right buttons with this heartfelt and meaningful statement and so far the polls in the school yard are looking quite positive. I think my main rival can be disabled quite easily and I have begun the school yard whispering campaign already.. I have planted the seeds carefully and in the right place with perfect little vignettes like this:

"You know [xxx] bats for the wrong side don't you...bit of a left-footer - know what I mean ??"

Or my personal favourite:

"[xxx]'s daughter in year [ ] brought nits into the school, [y] told me..! no honestly.."

So it's going pretty well. Except that is, that absolutely no one knows who I am. I think it unlikely I will get any votes except for Mrs.SAHD and maybe the gang, i.e. the bentley massif's mums. I'm not sure GiGi knows my full name either so I can't even rely on her ! quelle domage.

So let me just leave you with my final campaign message:

STRENGTH OF PURPOSE LADLED WITH DOLLOPS OF COMMON SENSE?

NATURAL OOZING INTELLECT BRED ON PURE COUNTRY LIVING?

RIPE FRESH IDEAS ON A HOMEBAKED MERINGUE OF CONSCIENTIOUSNESS?

THIS IS NOT JUST ANY OLD CANDIDATE THIS IS A 'SAHD' CANDIDATE.