Stay at home dad

Gaming

What is acceptable levels of gaming? I don't mean online poker, I mean 'computer' games. I tell you I am left behind with all this. Even when I was a kid I never really got into the whole Artari and spectrum zx thing and aside a brief obssession with 'Twin Cobra', a shoot'em up helicopter game during second year at uni, I have never really seen the fascination.

But now... little prince is absolutely fascinated by his elder cousins and their gaming: online, PS3, Wii, Runescape, call of duty 4, world of warcraft, LOTR online... it goes on and on. Most of them are incredibly violent and involve the close quarters massacre of some non-specific soldier or other with a vast array of weaponry including: every firearm know to man and lots of evil looking blades or clubs.

This is when I realise I am getting a bit old and probably turning into my father BUT when I was a child it was all about not being able to get outside quick enough and ride my bike or walk the dog or throw stones at, well, anything. TV was banned except for about half an hour at 6pm. Definitely not on a Saturday morning. But then again I was also a sheets and blanket guy, I'd never heard of a continental quilt.

Oh god! I really am turning into an old git.

Mind you, there was real violence in there in my youth, my brother and I used to shoot at each other with high powered hunting catapults and shoot everything with air rifles, not to mention the making of petrol bombs and stealing shotgun cartridges so that we could extract the gunpowder (for aforesaid bomb making)....and then setting off the percussion cap of the cartridge on the hot plate of the Aga.

Perhaps it is safer to leave LP in a virtual environment??

Pied piper

You know that bit in Spiderman 2 when Doc Oc is out of control in the final sequence, when the power source starts becoming like a super strength magnet and all the metal for miles around is sucked into the vortex of the out of control power source, just before spidey manages to save the day with a little brute force and some butt-licking comments to the out of control Doc Oc...?

What do you mean you don't?

Oh.

Well anyway, the point here is the incredible magnetic force that the power source generates prior to it being destroyed by its creator.. think metal girders, cars, metal boilers etc. all flying through the air toward a magnetic source. Keep this image of attraction in your mind.

So that's how I feel when I am the only fella around with lots of kids.

I might as well rename myself 'Magneto' and just accept that at no point am I going to get a relaxing afternoon drinking tea with the yummy mummies because of the screaming little 'effers that seem bonded to me by some invisible force that could be called "Whenever-you-see-little-prince's-dad-run-as-fast-as-you-can-at him-and: knee/headbutt/kick-him-as-hard-as-you-can"

Now that might be fair if it was just the boys, and like you, I thought it was more than likely it would be just the boys, but no, sadly not. Slim's children are the worst or best depending on how you view these things. I think actually she is just using me as a barrage balloon to deflect attention away from her. I call that selfish.

Today, little prince, who is precisely the right height, began practicing his punches in the area of most vulnerability. No, not my insecurity at turning into a lass because of hanging around with them all day, but my gonads. All being well the swelling will go down but I'm not confident I have presuaded any of the little critters that I should not be a target for punching, kicking or general physical abuse.

It doesn't happen to the women, oh no. They all laugh about how useful it is to have a man around sometimes.

Perhaps I'll look for a job again.

Only joking.