Stay at home dad

So much to tell !!

Well: have you missed me? Well, have you??

Hmmmm... not convinced you have you fickle audience you.

So what's new? errrr.... quite a lot actually. The Northern Rock looks like becoming a Virgin brand business, Peter Hain is, as I type, working on his CV and most of the country is saturated, wet, damp and... ummmm my favourite word: moist. In fact I saw snow this monday. Not down south - don't be silly, 'oop norf where the wind blows colder and beer is only tuppence a pint.

So you are aware we have moved? Have I told you about the puppies? Have I told you about the puppies' car sickness??

Have I told you that Mrs.SAHD is with calf???

See? I told you a lot had happened recently.

Got you hooked again yet?

PS Why did Heath Ledger top hisself? please explain.

One wedding & a funeral

Well the wedding was excellent. The groom is a professional musician and of course the evening was just one big jam (as I think they call it...). In fact when said groom began stroking his instrument, I could see the attraction and was falling for him head over heels myself! Despite the large number of Billy Joel covers, it was just so alive and vibrant to see a band, so good, just enjoying themselves...man. Accordingly, I have decided to take up the saxophone. Watch this space for saxophone lesson/progress and updates. Little prince had a demi-sleep over at PD's house (Demi meaning we picked him up circa midnight - lucky really as he had just fallen out of bed!).

On the other hand, the funeral was ... was, well: a funeral. The only difference this time is that it was my first burial. I liked it - as much as one can admit to that sort of thing. There is something poignant about the lowering of the coffin down into the deep dark red earth and, yes, it was raining. Got princeling to say his goodbyes too along with the handful of earth. Goodbye never felt so final.

On a lighter note, number one son during the funeral service turned to Mrs.SAHD and whispered:

"Mum... when are they going to bury up [xxx]??"

Brought a certain lightness to the proceedings I can tell you.

Left with a sore right shoulder however as, again for the first time, I bore the pall or was a pall-bearer. A great honour this and normally quite a balanced and unpainful although emotional exercise. My co-bearer was a foot shorter than I and therefore I struggled manfully with the full weight of the beloved and the newly varnished coffin some 150yds to the graveside... never have I been so grateful to see a hole in the earth. But of course I would never have given up, not then, not in the rain, not ever.

Well I'm back. Have you missed me? No? Oh well, wait till I return from our camping trip in the glorious summer of 2007. There must be some great material in that one.

Do's and Dont's

Came across a fabulous little book in my local Waterstones entitles: "Don'ts for wives".

Here are my top ten:

1.  Don't be out if you can help it when your husband gets home from work.

2.  Don't nauseate your husband by talking baby all the time. As baby's father he will stand a good deal of it, but remember that there are other interests in the world.

3.  Don't refuse to see your husband's jokes. They may be pretty poor ones, but it won't hurt you to smile at them.

4.  Don't try too hard to regulate your husband's pleasures, and don't be jealous if they don't always involve you.

5.  Don't be jealous of your husband's work (!). If he is any good, he is bound to be interested in it, and, after all, he is working for you.

6.  Don't forget to feed the brute well. Much depends on the state of his digestion.

7.  Don't buy expensive food and have it ruined by your cooking....

8.  Don't forget if he is too 'nervy' to watch if the tea habit is getting too strong in him. Nerves are often due to too much tea as to too much worry.

9.  Don't bother your husband with a senseless stream of chatter if you can see he is fatigued.

10.  Don't nag your husband. If he won't carry out your wishes for love, he certainly won't because you nag him.

Classic!

Cousins

Double-edged sword this one...

On the one hand the 'cousins' are fabbo, A1, fantastic. They babysit, play and spoil the chosen one. They spend endless hours chasing, tickling, teasing and encouraging in equal order. They neglect their own. They ignore us, they ignore their parents. Overall they allow us some time and space because, when the little prince sprints off into their company, we no longer have to worry about giving him attention, caring for him (in a general sense) or being nagged. He is as comfortable in that family as he is at home. It helps there are five of the cousins as it is like for him an instant family. It makes me happy to see him with them, so comfortable and secure.

On the other hand.... where has the "I love you 's'..."  gone?

Where is the need for attention from his parents gone?

Where is the craving for affection gone?

Where is the, "Daddy, PLEASE come and play football with me..!"

Out the window. Poof! disparu. He no longer cares. He is happy and secure and ultimately DOES NOT NEED US.

Maybe we are experiencing the teenage syndrome early? But at least he is not swearing at us... not yet at least.

And so ends the lesson about cousins. Fabulous of course but yet with a twinge of envy and feelings of uselessness.

I really must go back to trying to be humourous and not so deep. It doesn't suit me. Ask anyone.

An update

Well readers, I last left you some days back having made contact with some OTHER MOTHERS at the toddlers group before going on my recent random posting voyage. Well things have progressed somewhat and I thought it only fair to give you an update.

Of course you have now met Slim, PD and the Doctor but other developments have taken place. For example, last week I was NOT invited to one party and I WAS invited to another. The tale of two parties: I like the sound of that. It was kind of strange, there we were sitting having coffee when one of the mothers I know (but not very well) and who lives very close, said to me,

"Oh.. I'm glad you're here, we're having a party next Saturday and telling you now saves me having to write to you!"

My mouth was actually open and forming the words,

"Great... what time??"

when she continued...,"So there will be loud music and I just wanted to warn you."

Slim under her breath explained to me,

"That means you're not invited..." 

I'm not sure who was more put out: me or Slim. So obviously that is the tale of the party I was NOT invited to.

The other invite came from a yummy mummy who I had met through the running. Have I mentioned the running before? Oh well I shall have to make that a post subject. They are racking up a bit, I have the Tick bite story to run as well. I shall have to sharpen my pencil somewhat.. get the old creative juices flowing. Now I feel well in with the village social network as this party is actually a street party and little prince is invited too..! Hooray ! this is a good thing as we've not exactly cracked the babysitting thing and Mrs.SAHD has a flexible approach to little prince's bedtime... so that's the slightly less interesting story of the party I WAS invited to.

Have become hugely talented at sitting around drinking tea and eating cake interspersed with the odd bit of child entertainment, usually involving either 1.) trampoline 2.) football 3.) tickling or 4.) running. My favourite this week is trampolining and making up new and increasingly dangerous moves and games which can be either child-friendly or adult-only. Sometimes the two genres cross-over and little prince or one of his buddies get bounced just a little higher than they had been expecting and/or is landed on by yours truly or another kid. So far no serious injuries but here's hoping eh? I mean most of the kids I know now through the yum-mum network or our older NCT network have each had at least one relatively recent trip to A&E involving a soft tissue or a gash-glueing event.

Personally, I'm hoping for a gash type incident. Don't get me wrong I love the little prince to pieces but I think a vivid red scar gradually turning white - somewhere on the cranium - gives them that little bit of character you know?

Anyway, it's high time for little prince's tea: must dash.

See you tomorrow.